Finally, if you think shooting prairie dogs with assault rifles is crazy (and if you’re sane, you should), we’ve got just the thing for you: shooting a deer with a Howitzer cannon. (Just a quick warning: that page has a picture of a deer carcass at the bottom of it, so don’t click if that kind of thing grosses you out)
Choosing an area where you can see all around the howitzer is a very good idea. For example, set-up the mountain howitzer on a deer crossing that runs through the center of an open 100 acre marsh. ( keep in mind, however, that marsh grass may be easily ignited in dry weather and mountain howitzers shoot a lot of flames )
NOW, … there are several very important things that must be done to avoid potential problems during and after the event of shooting the deer with a Mountain Howitzer. Follow the 10 steps below for a successful and safe hunt.
1. Have a lot of land under your control. ( privately owned land or leased land is much preferable to public land ) That way you can limit who enters the area. It would be advisable to have control of the land at least 1000 yards in the direction the Mountain Howitzer’s muzzle is pointing. Post lots and lots of NO TRESPASSING signs all around the property
2. Mark the probable down-range DANGER area with “Danger-Tape”, the kind of tape that says “Police Line DO-NOT-CROSS” is a good choice, or, “DANGER — BLASTING AREA” is another good one. You will need about 1000 yards of this tape. Lay the tape along the ground starting from 5 foot either side of the mountain howitzer’s muzzle and flare down range at a 15 degree angle. Extend the tape out to about 500 yards. Keep the tape laying directly on the ground so the deer can easily step over it. ( Don’t worry about the wording, the deer can’t read ) IMPORTANT, BE SURE THE TAPE DOES NOT GET TANGLED ON BRUSH. ( the reason for this will be made clear in step 7. )
This has got to be a joke. Right? We’re not quite sure whether this guy is telling the truth about his Howitzer deer-hunting adventure or not. On the one hand, who would be dumb enough to hunt a deer with a cannon? But on the other hand, gun guys in general aren’t the brightest, and this guy’s plan goes into some really complicated details. What, you might ask, exactly is in step 7, the reason you have to make sure your police tape doesn’t get tangled? Why, because the game warden might show up, of course.
6. When the quiet of the morning is suddenly shattered with a loud BOOM … you’ve done it. You’ve shot a deer with a Mountain Howitzer. DO NOT CHECK FOR A BLOOD TRAIL IMMEDIATELY AFTER SHOOTING. First, pick-up your 12 gage shotgun ( along with the pocket full of empty fired cases that you brought with you ) and FINISH STEP 7.
7. QUICKLY COVER THE MOUNTAIN HOWITZER WITH A CAMOUFLAGED TARP, AND QUICKLY PICK UP ALL THE DANGER TAPE. You may wish to practice these steps so you can do it very fast. ( hint: paint the inside of your mountain howitzer travel tarp in a camo pattern, then simply turn it inside-out for hunting )
8. Now, “GET THE HELL OUT OF THE AREA UNTIL THE SMOKE HAS CLEARED” ( You have just created a smoke cloud that is likely visible from the moon. It may take up to 30 minutes for the smoke to dissipate depending on the particular area and wind conditions ) Move away from the howitzer by one-half mile. ( or more ) Sit down and eat your lunch. Keep an eye on the area from a distance, making sure there are no nosey hunters that wander over to see what all the noise ( and smoke ) was about. In the unlikely event that a crowd of unknown hunters should wander over, play dumb, talk with your mouth full, drool, and entice them away from the area of the howitzer. If they comment about the “smell of rotten eggs” ( the sulfur form the 1/2 pound of black powder you just ignited ) tell them you ate a lot hard boiled eggs for breakfast, and you have gas. If they should discover the Mountain Howitzer Cannon, “tell them that they are trespassing on private land”, and threaten to call the Sheriff if they don’t leave at once.
9. After the smoke ( and the coast ) has cleared, go back and start trailing your deer. However, if you did everything correctly with your howitzer, the deer will likely be dead on the spot … and won’t need any trailing.
It would be a good idea to drag the deer away from the cannon area before starting to field dress him. ( just in case other hunters wander over ) Now is also a good time to spread-out lots of those fired 12 gage empty hulls.
You’re spreading the empty hulls, in case you didn’t want to go any further, because if the cops do stop by, you’re supposed to lie and say you shot the deer with a shotgun.
Seriously, though, this is a joke right? He didn’t really shoot a deer with a cannon, did he?
This wonderful trophy was taken at 8:00 a.m. on November 22nd, 2003.
And, it was done without damaging a single point of this Buck’s very nice 8 point rack.
Oh deer.
Whether he really did it or not, this is the culture we’re dealing with. These are the guy who think it’s ok to allow the sale of firearms like assault weapons when thousands of Americans are dying every year from their use. These morons are the ones fighting reasonable gun legislation. They can’t be allowed to hijack our laws any more.
