Headline Archives for April 27, 2005

Gun Guys News

• Justices Scalia and Thomas Dissent On Decision Which Will Allow Those Convicted of Oversea Felonies to Buy Guns in America.  Um...Did I Wake Up In Bizarro World?  (4.27)
• Man At Center of Supreme Court Gun Case Previously Arrested in Japan for (Surprise, Surprise) Weapons Violations.  (4.27)
• CA: Senate Considers Bullet Coding and Tracking System to Help Solve Gun Crimes.  Gun Shills Complain About Cost, Say "Come On, What's Justice REALLY Worth?"  (4.27)
• FL:  New Florida Population Control Measure is Officially On the Books!  Shoot 'Em If You Got 'Em!  (4.27)
• FL: "You are telling people when they are in the midst of an emotional moment ... you can stand your ground until death happens."  Logic, Held By NRA At Gunpoint, Surrenders.  (4.27)
• FL:  NRA Harpy Marion "Cock The" Hammer Stands Over Jeb Bush's Shoulder As He Signs Death-On-Demand Bill, Cackle Maniacally.  (4.27)
• NY:  NYC Residents Wonder Why Crime Rates Have Plummeted.  In Unrelated News, Even Republicans in NYC Support Sensible Gun Control.  (4.27)
• VT:  The Minutemen Consider Setting Up Shop in Vermont.  Plan to Stem Flow of Illegal Canadian Aliens Stealing "God Fearing American's Spots on Hockey Teams," Stock Up on Maple Syrup.  (4.27)
• AK:  From Our "Cutting Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" Department:  Hunter Kills Alpha Male of Famed Wolf Pack, May Cause Extreme Decline in Population. (4.27)
• MD: Lawmakers Try to Protect Shooting Ranges By Passing Laws That Allow Cities to Regulate Noise Complaints.  Lawmakers Call Mulligan   (4.27)

America's Shooting Gallery

• CA:  On a Bicycle Built for KABOOM.  (4.27)
• AL: Man Sentenced to Prison for Seventeen Years.  You Should Have Waited and Moved to Florida.  This Would Have Been Legal There As Of Today!  (4.27)
• FL: Gang Advertises Bounty on Guy Who Shot One of Their Own on T-shirts.  Sheriff Astutely Notes That "[This Isn't] a Proper Way to Get [Their Concerns] Addressed."  (4.27)
• NY:  Domestic Dispute Ends in Shooting.  From the Picture You'd Have Never Guessed.  Dude...David Koresh Called.  He Wants His Hair Back.  (4.27)
• OH:  Elsewhere a Woman Shoots Live-in Boyfriend After Fight Over Gun.   I Guess We Know Who Won.  (4.27)
• TX:  Officer Survives Shooting.  Once Every 57 Hours Another Officer Isn't So Lucky.  (4.27)
• GA:  Smile!  You're On Convict Camera!  (4.27)
• TX:  Even the Ultimate Monument to Wholesome Behavior, the Bowling Alley, Isn't Safe Anymore.  NRA Proposes Arming Bowling Balls.  (4.27)
• TX:  Well, At Least We're Still Safe From Gun Crime in Our Bedrooms.  Oh....Wait...  (4.27)
• IN:  Well At Least Our Schools Are Still....<sigh> Why Do I Even Bother?  (4.27)