March 2003
Smith & Wesson
It’s March Madness at GunGuys.com! So we would like
to honor the gun industry executives over at Smith & Wesson
who decided to spike their sales by introducing the Model 500
-- a 4 1/2 pound, 8 1/2 inch barrel, .50
caliber handgun. Look for this monster weapon at a community
gun store or homicide near you.
It seems Smith & Wesson (formerly
owned by British conglomerate, Tomkins Plc) fell on some
financial hard times after the Clinton Administration
convinced them to install -- God forbid --
safety locks and other safety measures on all new guns sold.
Some people blame the company's downturn on the
storm troopers of the NRA, the gun industry dealers and distributors,
as well
as
the gun
nuts
and
assorted
losers who launched
an all out campaign and boycott to stop Smith & Wesson
from preventing unintentional child shootings -- cause you can
never have enough unintentional child shootings.
Well, when the dust settled, a little trigger lock start-up
firm in Arizona, Saf-T-Hammer Corp., bought Smith & Wesson
for $15 million dollars -- not
bad, since the previous British owners paid $113 million --
and Smith & Wesson became . . . Smith & Wesson
Holding Corp.
In an obvious attempt to win back the gun-lock hating market
of men and women who measure their manhood by the length
of
their
weapons, Smith & Wesson
released their .50 caliber handgun, "A Hunting Handgun
For Any Game Animal Walking."
Let's repeat that: Any . . . Game . . . Animal . . . Walking.
While the Model 500 certainly could be used to take down walking
elephants and strolling grizzly bears,
in an odd stroke of bad luck, it also looks like it might
take down a few cops. So far, police departments
aren't sure their bullet
proof vests will protect them
when
they get shot by Smith & Wesson's .50 caliber.
Everyone feel safe now?
Smith & Wesson would like you to believe
their hand cannon is for hunting. If you believe that, you’re
probably a member of the Klan, a gun nut, or a Smith & Wesson
executive.
Just what the world needs, a handgun with the "stopping
power" to
drop an African elephant from 75 feet away -- cause you never
know when you're going to be threatened by an African elephant.
Smith & Wesson.com gets an immoral five-bullet rating
from GunGuys.com.
Rating: 5 out of 5 rounds
